C.R.A.Z.Y. and the Universal Cure for all Evils

I'm not a fan of winter. I don't like the cold and I don't really care if there's snow on the ground. I like ice even less. In fact, if there really is any basis behind this whole Global Warming thing (and it wouldn't surprise me if it was all just a figment of someone's imagination), then I'm all for it if it wipes out winter. I'm much more of an Autumn person anyway. It's not too hot and not too cold... I think Kevin Meaney said it best: "I wanna live in a mall... where the temperature's always the same!!!" But no, I'm hip-deep in a Montreal winter (allegedly milder than usual. HA!), complete with freezing rain and wind that'll rip threw you like a kid through gifts on Christmas morning.

Today was particularly nasty, as weather goes. The rain and (temporarily) warm temperature ensured that every sidewalk was covered in a good inch of water. I really should have learned how to skate at some point. Anyway, between the time I left my apartment and the time it took me to ride the STM to my stop on Côte-de-Liesse, that warmfront had passed and brought some mighty strong winds. In order to get work, I have to cross the highway by using a bridge/overpass and I tell you, I was thankful I had enough manly girth to keep me firmly rooted in place. I actually had to walk between my coworker and the railing to keep her from flying over the side. No joke. And things only got colder as the hours passed.

By the time I left work, all that water had pretty much frozen, making walking an adventure. The temperature had dropped sharply, but it was the wind that made all the difference. The Weather Network said it was -12 degrees, but with the wind it felt closer to -30 outside. I decided that once I got home that there was no way I was leaving the house again. It was definitely a Blockbuster night.

Even though I was staying in, I figured I would still get in some Quebecois culture, so I rented C.R.A.Z.Y. I had heard good things about the film, so I figured it was about time that I checked it out. It never ceases to amaze me that the Quebecois have their own, pretty much self-sufficient, entertainment industry. When was the last time an English-language Canadian film got any sort of International buzz? Heck, when was the last time an English-language film even got any Domestic buzz? But just in case it turned out to be total rubbish, I also rented American Pie: Band Camp. "Band Camp?!?!" you say. "How could you rent that crap?!?"

It seems it's time for Al to reveal one of the great truths of the male existance. I was coming out of The Natural Sciences building after a particularly taxing Chemistry lecture back in first year when it hit me: the Universal Cure (for guys--and some enlightened girls, as well). No matter what ails you, no matter how crappy your day is going, this will make you feel a helluva lot better. I'll give you a hint: they vary in size and shape, but bounce gently as she walks. Yes, dear friends, bouncing titties. Boobs. Breasts. We like to look at them. We like to play with them. They just generally make the day a wee bit more delightful. Am I a sexist pig? Perhaps. But I'm also speaking the (rather obvious) truth.

Consider the following situations:

• You've just bombed a major exam and you may very well flunk out of school. What's going to make you feel better, if only for a little while? Boobies.
• Your family pet has just met a rather unfortunate end under the tires of the city's public transit system. Sure, you won't be able to get over little Fluffy's tragic end in one night, but I'm telling you that a nice perky set of tits will certainly help.
• You've just been dumped by your girlfriend. Sure, be bummed. But get back on that horse and find yourself another nice pair to play with.

Okay, so maybe it won't actually solve any problem or cure what ails you, but at the very least your mood will improve. And isn't that really the first step in any recovery? A positive outlook is very important! So there you have it. That's why I rented American Pie: Band Camp. It was bloody cold out, I was bored and had suffered through my second week at my new job. Next question.

Back to C.R.A.Z.Y. It was co-written by François Boulay and Jean-Marc Vallée (it was also directed by Vallée) and follows the life of the 4th son, Zac, of an average Quebecois family through the 60s and the 70s. It was quirky, but good. I can see why it's won awards. It focuses on the relationship between Zac and his father and the son's struggle for acceptance in light of his homosexual tendancies.

There are some pretty standard secondary storylines, including fraternal conflicts, drug abuse and the obligatory death in the family, but they handled it well. Quebecois filmmakers are pretty clever in the way they shoot their films. One of the more interesting scenes shows the father standing in the foreground, listening to a Patsy Cline record on headphones, while his wife answers the telephone in the background. She pretty much collapses, sobbing as she learns of the death of her son, Raymond, while dear ol' dad is standing there with his back to her, smiling like an idiot as he listens to Crazy, blissfully unaware that his son is dead.

Overall, I liked it. I'm going to have to look around for a few more of Vallée's films. I must admit, I was a little annoyed that the dvd didn't provide french subtitles. Anglophones can't possibly be the only people who can go deaf, but then, what do I know? So there you have it. C.R.A.Z.Y. is definitely worth seeing, with or without subtitles. I hope it does well at the Oscars this year.