Another Dip in the Pool--Live from London!
Greetings, one and all! I'm back in the Forest City of London, Ontario for the week. I'll be starting a new job soon, so I figured that now was as good a time as any to come back to visit the family and catch up with the yahoos who have been so kind as to use the comment section of my blog like a virtual dart board. This also seems like a good occasion to catch everyone up on the latest happenings in the Pool. I know that many of you will be unfamiliar with this little venture, so please feel free to click on this link to dig through my archives for the original post. Take your time. I can wait here til you get back... Yes, I know I linked to it twice. That was intentional. Some people aren't good at following instructions.
So now that everyone has caught up, let's see how the principle players are doing, shall we?
OJ
Of the principle combatants in this little race to eternal happiness (or misery, as Morgan would insist), it seems that, as usual, ol' OJ has taken the bull by the horns. He's out there, meeting and greeting prospective ex-Mrs. OJs, perhaps even as I type this entry. And surprisingly, he's taken great pride in my prior assessment--so much so that he's actually referred prospective dates to this very blog so the damsels can see what they're getting themselves into. I'll have to check in with Chris to see if this qualifies as self-handicapping or not. Regardless, he's out there making the effort.Kev
Meanwhile, Kev has taken the first steps towards freeing himself from the emotional clutches of
an unhealthy crush. I'm going to presume that he's serious this time and that this entry will provide the extra little push he needs to get out there and start meeting new and interesting people, rather than spinning his tires as he has been for the past... um... undetermined amount of time. He went out to a salsa dancing night at Old Chicago last week, though he didn't see anyone who caught his eye. That's bound to happen, though. Kev's taste is rather refined, after all. The important thing is that he's out there looking.Me
As for me, there's not really anything to report. I continue to window shop, but that's about it. The boys have also been bugging me to go in and see Super Mom while I'm in town, so I figure, why not? Aside from Ashley being dropdead gorgeous, I really don't see why they keep trying to get me to ask her out. I'm thinking it has to do with the potential hilarity that would ensue if I got shot down while they're around. Boys will be boys, right?At any rate, I'm hopeful that the new work environment will open up new opportunities to be social. In the meantime, I'll keep my eyes open and report back if necessary.
So now that I've actually got some traffic on this site, let's open it up a bit:
OJ vs. Kev vs. Me-- WHO YA GOT?!?! Leave your vote for the eventual winner (AKA next one down the aisle) in the comment section.
Be advised: multiple entries by Morgan will be dealt with appropriately.
posted by Al B Here @ 10:39 PM
36 comments
36 Comments:
On my scantron sheet, I'm using my trusty ole HB pencil to colour in answer (e) none of the above.
If Mr. Miyagi was trying to teach Daniel LaRusso how to short a stock on the stock market, he would have him follow this pool. "Wax on. Wax off."
(Alvin, delete what you like. You still have to take that train back to Montreal. Hours of unobstructed blog fun. Na na na na na na.)
Hmmm.
Tough call. Which one of you actually wants to get married? That piece of information doesn't exist in either of these posts.
Speaking as a single white female, all of you guys seem like very normal and likable guys -- but if you're all intent on avoiding marriage, you'll be incredibly successful at it.
Don't freak yourself out -- they're just women. We don't sit around and kvetch every weekend over how we're going to ruin your lives and break your hearts. All you really have to do is be sincere and honest and affectionate, and something will work itself out.
What should I do today? Let me take a look at my "to do" list in the old daytimer. Hmm, only 2 things on tap: create world peace on earth or find soul mates for those 3 Canadian dudes. Well, I guess I should get the easiest one out of the way first. World peace it is!
"Be advised: multiple entries by Morgan will be dealt with appropriately."
Applause is nice, but I'd prefer the cash.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Okay, we're not going to be mimicking anyones mom, either. Keep it clean, boys.
"Okay, we're not going to be mimicking anyones mom, either."
Clever but obscure euphamism. Alvin's literary genius at work again. Sadly, he has had little success coming up with anything as creative for the word "boobs."
These dudes shouldn't be battling each other for chicks. They should be putting their collective energies together on a project where they have a far greater chance of success. I think they have the ingredients to start a real nice circus.
Which one of you has most recently caught a bouquet?
Kevin will meet the girl of his dreams then lose her in a poker game. "Damn you Doyle Brunson and your stinkin' ten-deuce."
Alvin will get a mail order bride, but lose her when she arrives postage due and the mailman refuses to accept the $1.73 payment in beer empties.
Auger will meet his soul mate at work but nothing will be finalized due to an extended, long distance courtship with scheduled visiting hours.
I'm sure the first to get married will be the one who has a woman utter those three magical words to him....
"I am pregnant"
To Miss Jay, Michele and Nicole
Come on ladies and step up to the plate, the interest was there to post yet no votes cast? I used a sports analogy because I know how much the female gender finds those endearing.
:-p. master
time too play the music
*ahem*
{clears throat and steps up to metaphorical plate, kicks dust off shoes}
I hearby vote for Al because he is classy enough to flirt with me on my very own blog.
{steps back down, tosses hair, snaps gum.}
I still didn't get the answer to my question, though. Y'all some duds if you can't even admit you don't want to get married.
I'm one of those people who HAS to define how I'm feeling pretty much all the time so I don't go bonkers. I'm also prone to mood swings and I rate a good 8.5 on the sensitive-o-meter. When I'm not in touch with how I feel about any particular thing, I'm not anchored in reality.
We all have little quirks... even our voting public
Let's take a look at the score on the Jumbotron:
Kevin 0
OJ 0
Al 1
I bet nobody saw that one coming. And who knew Al could flirt? Of course, I've never really tried any of his arsenal of double entendres like "chili on the side" or "wububabullabulla." Good going Al. When should we rent a tux?
Obviously Michèle recognizes quality. And for the record, I believe all 3 of the candidates would like to get married at some point, though none of us want to just settle for anyone, despite Morgan's mail-order bride insinuations. Good thing James isn't in the pool, eh?
That's a load off our shoulders.
I will say this: OJ has a really swank bachelor pad. Does he want it to remain a *bachelor* pad? I dunno. All I do know is I was there to feed his cat. What kind of self-respecting guy owns a cat? One who's confident in his masculinity, I guess.
Also, I think I have some colleagues who can treat Morgan's MPD (the term they use nowadays is Dissociative Identity Disorder, I believe)
It may seem unfair for some to have multiple personalities when so many people in this world do without.
I've seen him operate. I'm betting on the other two. Meow.
It's really simple folks.
Seeing as I've know OJ and Al since I was a youngster I have no issue making the following prediction.
Al and OJ will tie - as they will marry each other.
OJ likes to talk a big game about himself while Al is shy. If that ain't two sides of the coin, I don't know what is.
The bonus is that they can now make their union legal.
Then, the we can start the next pool...who's the pitcher and who's the catcher!
At last, Big Daddy Double-A has entered the fray. I was wondering when you'd throw in your 2 cents... Welcome, mon frère!
Well at least it is not a Dr evil impression.
So Big D and double A, can't live out your dream of you and Al. I think all that time you spent covering wrestling have you dreaming of men holding each other too closely and the love that dare not speak its name.
Good to hear from you.. a late congrats.
Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon.
Jack Klugman and Tony Randall.
Need I continue?
I think '2 many A's' is overselling the fact that Al and OJ deal with each other like an old, married couple.
For the record, Al will find success by introducing a chain of fast food restaurants for pets, buy a Cadillac, and move to Ft. Lauderdale with a pneumatically-enhanced ex-waitress with a pretty face and the skin of George Hamilton.
OJ will fall one short of setting the world record for consecutive first dates when he meets someone so much like himself that he can't resist popping the question. Sadly, he'll discover how difficult his new bride is to be with and the ill-fated marriage will end on the return flight from Vegas. OJ will dedicate his life to securing a refund from The Little White Wedding Chapel.
OJ is alot of fun, trust me!
Actually, I think Al will take a different path. I believe he will find success as a writer with fame coming as a result of his creation of a critically acclaimed, subgenre of romance novel where, instead of the guy getting the girl, they always become very good friends. In appreciation of Al's literary genius, women from around the world will travel to his domicile with the desire to become very good friends.
Not to leave Kevin out of the mix. He will have to overcome misfortune when he loses the opportunity to be Kathy Griffin's professional partner in an upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars as a result of blowing out his achilles during a Wednesday night salsa session. Consequently, he will meet a nice, pretty girl, move into a comfortable house in a good part of town, look forward to a spiffy new SUV every four years, and enjoy the appreciation of his boss via a higher than average 4.8% annual raise. His spare time will be spent wondering where it all went so horribly wrong. Damn achilles.
I think mister dancing monkey should have had the class to at least quote me properly before making a mockery of my words and taking them out of context.
Badly played, mister dancing monkey. Badly played. No bananas for you.
Al can too flirt. He asked me for directions to the metrodome just this morning.
I would like to apologize to you Michele.
How about a dinner of chocolates, prime rib, and double baked potatoes or sushi whilst listening to Depeche Mode, Sugar Cubes, The Pixies, They Might be Giants, the Smiths, Kate Bush, Cocteau Twins. We could cuddle up around a fire well watching Law and Order, and reading David Foster Wallace's essay collection during commercials, ''A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again." We could do this well masticating on a selection of peppermint gum, ginger Altoids, apple Jolly Ranchers, and most things chocolate.
No bananas yet?
Ps Al asked for directions due to Kirby Pucket's ceremony I am sure.
Dancing monkey has spent far too many minutes flipping through the Voix archives.
Don't you want, like, a life or something?
Somebody just lobbed a rather large softball. Play nice kiddies. It's all fun until somebody loses an "i".
I don't think today is a day for retorts when one's brain, is all frozen and crystallized and making them boring.
A monkey with his head stuck in a freezer? How did THAT happen? Did anybody videotape it?
Michelle is brilliant. Al, you gotta stop worrying about the future and start having just a little more fun.
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